June 1, 2011

June 1 again

This kind of sums up my recent experience using KSL.com classifieds to sell a swing set.

Most of you have probably seen "People of Walmart." I think there is another clearly defined group of people lurking right here near the Salt Lake Valley known as the People of the KSL Classifieds. Here are a few ways you can be sure you have met some of these people once you've posted an ad on KSL.

-They call you seven times in a row.

-They have a list of absurd and irrelevant questions about the product you're selling (i.e. If you're selling a toaster, they ask how long it can be in the toasting position before it lights on fire)

-They aren't actually fluent in English. It's quite possible they're not actually fluent in any language.

-You tell them that you'll only give them your address if they can pick it up immediately and they agree to do so and then when you give them your address at 2 in the afternoon, they say, "My husband works until 5 and we live in American Fork so we'll come by when he gets home from work."

-You state in the ad you will not deliver and they ask if you can deliver.

-You state in the ad they should bring a truck and they show up with a minivan.

-You state in the ad that the price is firm and when they show up, they ask if you can take less money.

-You have over 250 views and about 45 calls within a few hours and they ask if they can pay half of the asking price.

-They tell you they want it really bad but they are very busy for some reason or other so they need you to hold it for them for a while.

-They expect help disassembling the item because you told them to bring a truck and they showed up with a minivan.

-They ask if you have anything else you'd like to sell them while they're there.

-You mark the item sold and people keep calling.

-After telling a caller the item is sold, the caller says, "But I really wanted that!"

-After telling a caller the item is sold, the caller asks who you sold it to, as if I collect business cards. I sold it to whoever showed up with the money the fastest, douche bag.

-After telling a caller the item is sold and has been picked up, the caller asks if they can be next in line in case it falls through.

How do you know that you've PURCHASED from these kind of people?

When you call to ask about the item (let's just say it's a dishwasher), they tell you every last detail of their life including where they work and their schedule. When you get a little creeped out and ask them to just meet you at a gas station, they insist that they and their spouse meet you & your spouse and then they suggest swinging as a possibility. When you don't respond but are just glad the whole thing is over with, they call you at home because "they haven't heard from you in a while. Please call any time to catch up." Dude, I just wanted your dishwasher. I didn't want your "dishwasher" if you know what I mean.

KSL.com Classifieds, I think it's time you & I break up. It's just not working out.


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