July 2, 2010

July 2

I have a talent so raw, many naysayers claim it's not even a talent. I can make people feel uncomfortable. I tried out for a talent show and this is how it went:
Judges: What talent will you be displaying for us today?
Me: I can make people feel uncomfortable.
Judges (looking confused): Okay, proceed.
Me: (Harnessing my talent silently and using it on the audience, I just stood there using my talent for about 30 seconds and I'm fairly certain everybody from the audience to the judges was feeling quite uncomfortable)
Judges: Um, you can sit down now. You shouldn't be in this competition-you didn't do anything.
Me: Did you or did you not feel uncomfortable?
Judges: You may sit now!
People are afraid to even admit to the talent I have, a talent so strong that it's almost a superpower.
Next talent competition contestant:
Him: I can pee on myself but I have to turn around because it would feel disrespectful to pee in front of you...
Judges: (Wild applause)

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