August 6, 2016

How to Ruin Girls Camp in 10 Easy Steps

Camping always makes me laugh. Last month I attended my first Girls Camp since I was a teenager so there was plenty to laugh about. This is a light-hearted list of things that make the week extra "fun."
1. Complain about everything! They're making you walk? How miserable! You have to wash your own dishes? Ridiculous! Don't waste your time being happy about anything. 2. Ask what you'll be doing next a minimum of 12 times a day. When somebody points out that the schedule is posted, refuse to acknowledge it. 3. Say inappropriate things. Any thought that enters your mind should come out your mouth. That's what true freedom is. 4. Talk about what you'd rather be doing. When you start phrases with "I'd rather be..." and finish with some kind of modern convenience, it helps the whole group question their choice to attend.
5. Use the bathroom 10 times a day, especially if there's only one bathroom. Don't stress yourself out by hurrying. Think about your life & your choices. Primp extensively. When people wait a long time for you, they appreciate your beauty more. 6. Pack too much stuff. If you don't need it, pac, it! How can you be prepared for anything if you don't have everything? 7. Go to bed too late and get up too early and make sure to spread the wrath of your sleep deprivation. If you didn't sleep enough, everybody should pay the price. Before going to bed, it's best to make loud obnoxious sounds but if you're woken up with similar sounds, be furious about it.
8. Eat a lot in your tent and make sure to leave food open at night. Not only will this benefit each tent mate with crumbs in their clothes and sleeping bags but you can get better acquainted with adorable mountain creatures.
9. Every time an activity gets quiet, it's your job to yell. Yelling gives spiritual thoughts emphasis and breaks up that uncomfortable silence or quiet that everybody's feeling. 10. Participate in testimony meeting by organizing and carrying out a flash mob. Since most testimony meetings are held in a chapel, where it's typically frowned upon to do a flash mob, this would be your most appropriate opportunity to shine.