July 31

If ignorance is such bliss, then shouldn't you be happier?

July 27

So I'm fascinated by armpits. Is that so wrong?

July 26

The day may come when I can no longer blame everything on mental illness.

July 25

Why does getting fat taste so good?

July 22

Some people grow a little hair on their feet. I get that but when people have hairstyles for their feet hair, that's where my understanding runs out.

July 17

Phonecall to boss:

Me: "Um, I'm not coming into work today. I'm troubled."

Boss: "You're calling in troubled?"

Me: "Yep."

Boss: Really long silence...

Me: Click.

I highly recommend this practice.

July 11

If the way you present your business is a type of marketing, what it to be said for a bar that has up flashing Christmas lights in July and they are the most crookedly-hung lights you ever saw? Maybe the message is 'the alcohol worked'???

Independence Day

A firework is an underappreciated martyr. It makes the ultimate sacrifice, going up in flames just to provide a service to others. The only bad thing is if you give fireworks their own day, such as some martyrs have been given, it only sacrifices more fireworks.